Final Fantasy: Dented Mind
by FiftyCal
Summary: I wrote this because my brother inspired me to. It's my own spoof on the story, with pretty much everyone really OOC! This is my first fanfic ever so don't expect too much. Rated T for Violence & Language. Read, Review, & Enjoy!


Author's note: I don't own anything in FFIX. That's all owned by Square.

Alright! My first fan fiction ever! Just to tell you readers, I'm Krimson Rogue's brother. I pretty much only got into this because he made writing seem like a lot of fun, which it is.

Note that this is my first fan fiction and so it's not going to be very professional, so don't be too harsh plz. Also, I only watched my brother play the game so I'm taking quite a few liberties on the story. Enjoy!

The Theatre Ship soared through the air as it made its way its Alexandria. It soared through the clouds gently as it glided along its path.

A member of the ship's crew, Zidane walked into the small room inside the Theatre Ship, expecting to see his comrades, but was only met with darkness.

"Sure is dark in here", he remarked

Zidane quickly lit a match and proceeded to light the candle in the middle of the room. The room brightened up, revealing a sort of run down supply room.

"Who goes there?!" yelled a voice from behind a closed door on the right side of the room.

"It's me, Zidane!" he yelled back.

The door burst open and Marcus, Blank, and Cinna swept into the room after that.

"Alright, we can get started as soon as the boss shows up", said Marcus

Just then, a sword wielding dragon-headed man busted into the room atop the stairs to the left, ready to attack. The guys got their weapons out and prepared themselves. The dragon-headed man charged forward, but was unfortunately clumsy and fell flat on his face.

"He's down! Let's get him!", yelled Zidane.

The guys quickly jumped around the man and attacked. Zidane twirled his daggers and quickly slammed them into the back of the man's lungs, while Blank took his sword and thrust it through the man's spine, and Cinna continued to be a weak as hell dumbass and just stand there with his stupid hammer. Marcus then finished the fight by swinging his blade and quickly slicing off the man's head. Blood spurted all over the men as Baku's head rolled out of the dragon-head mask.

"Ah shit, I think we went too far again", said Zidane.

"Well gee, the guy attacked a room full of armed men, what the hell did you expect?" replied Blank.

"No sense in just leaving him there I guess", said Marcus.

"Do we _really _have to revive him?" asked Blank "Seriously, this has got to be the fiftieth time he's done this shit."

"You do have a point there" remarked Zidane

"He's the only one who knows the full plans here, and he's in the play", noted Cinna

"Fine" groaned the others.

They pulled their weapons out of Baku's corpse and put his head back on his shoulders, then tossed a phoenix down on him.

Baku staggered back onto his feet.

"What the hell happened? Baku said groggily.

"You tripped and knocked yourself out", said Zidane.

"Then why're you all covered in blood?" asked Baku

"It's stage blood. We were practicing the sword fighting in the play", replied Blank

"Oh, alright then, let's get this meeting started", said Baku.

The guys piled into the next room and began their coordination of the plan.

- - - - -

Down on the streets of Alexandria, a strange kid in a blue overcoat and a big straw hat too big for his head looked up in awe at the giant theatre ship as it flew above Alexandria.

"That would make such a crater in this city" he thought to himself.

He continued down the street and proceeded into a shop with useful looking magical commodities. Just then, Unfortunately, he wasn't paying enough attention and a rat-faced boy smashed through the window, who proceeded to run straight into the kid, making his ticket fall out of his pocket.

"Hey! Watch where you're going!" yelled the rat-boy as he was running away. He turned the corner quickly, not noticing the fireball that missed him by inches, which proceeded to decimate a group of carnies on the other side of the street.

"Damn, I half missed" the strange kid thought to himself.

He picked up his ticket and proceeded to the ticket booth, where he handed over his ticket. He had been wanting to go to this play for quite some time now. He knew there were going to be hundreds of nobles there, and their expensive clothing was always so wonderfully flammable.

The ticket master looked at the strange kid's ticket with doubt. After a quick inspection, the ticket master broke the bad news to the poor kid.

"Sorry, but this ticket is a fake", he said.

"Noooooooo!", the kid moaned.

"Cheer up kid, I'll give you these tetra master cards to play with", he said in a weak attempt to help the kid. "Maybe you'll get to meet Alleyway Jack. Ask him if you want to know more about Tetra Master cards"

"Gee, thanks mister!", the kid said in a sarcastically grateful tone, though the ticket master didn't notice the sarcasm.

The kid walked off in the direction of the nearby alley while the ticket master happily looked into the courtyard. The children were out playing, the vendors were advertising their merchandise, and the nobles were out to see the play. _Alexandria is truly a beautiful town,_ he thought to himself. He looked up at the gorgeous sky just before his skull was smashed in by the head of a staff.

The strange kid, or Vivi, as the author is just going to refer to him now, continued walking down the alleyway, wiping the last bits of gore off himself. He slipped on a brain chunk, just as the nearby storeowner missed a nail on his sign and bent it lopsided.

"Aw dammit kid, you made me mess up" said the grouchy old man.

"Wait, I fall down at the same time you miss a nail and you blame that on me?" asked Vivi.

"It's obviously your fault!" growled the old man.

Vivi powered up a fireball and launched it at the man's sign, obliterating it and leaving a small hole in the wall.

"No, _that's _obviously my fault" said Vivi with satisfaction.

The old man ran away screaming just as a strange rat-faced boy came into the alley, who gave a look of achievement when he spotted the man's abandoned ladder with Vivi next to it.

"Hey! I know you! You had that fake ticket!" said the rat-boy.

"Yeah, it was a fake. You're the second person to tell me that. Would you like to join the first?" asked Vivi.

"Nah that's alright," replied the rat-boy. "Listen, I can get you into the play if you want, but you'll have to agree to be my slave!.

"I've got a better idea, actually" Vivi said to himself.

He was about to shoot a fireball at the kid's head when suddenly he visualized hundreds of flaming nobles. Realizing his predicament, Vivi came to an unfortunate realization.

"Fine" he said grudgingly.

"Cool!" said the rat-boy. "Okay, first things first slave! Go over there and tell me if anyone's coming!"

Vivi rolled his eyes and proceeded to follow the directions. He saw that no one was coming and relayed the message.

The rat-boy picked up the ladder and hoisted it over himself.

"Okay! Follow me slave!" he said.

Vivi was about to follow when suddenly a strange man came up close to him. Vivi anticipated the pickpocket's move dodging his hand. The man was about to speak when Vivi pulled out his staff and thrust it through the man's neck. The man died in nearly an instant.

"Bitch" said Vivi. "Ooh, Tetra Master cards. It looks like you sure were high up in society"

Vivi then followed the rat-boy's path, and soon came upon a large steeple. Inside, the steeple was almost completely bare. Only a single chimney decorated the room with a ladder inside of it leading up to the rooftop.

"You go on up first slave!" the rat-boy ordered.

Vivi was about to climb up when he saw a moogle fall towards him. He moved out of the way just in time so that the moogle missed him. The little fuzz ball landed with a sickening crack.

"Holy crap!" yelled the rat-boy.

"He'll be fine" said Vivi. "I've seen far worse"

"I think we should revive him!" said the rat-boy in a worried tone.

"Fine" groaned Vivi, rolling his eyes. He tossed a phoenix down on the moogle, who began to wake up. "Can we go now?"

"Yeah, sure" replied the rat-boy.

They proceeded up the ladder and onto the rooftops, soon coming across a makeshift bridge across two roofs. The rat-boy quickly ran across but Vivi stayed his ground.

"Come on slave! Just cross!" said the rat-boy.

"I don't like heights" said Vivi.

"It's fine, don't worry about it!" said the rat-boy

Vivi cautiously moved across the boards slowly. Things looked fine until the boards gave through, but Vivi jumped just in time, avoiding falling to the streets below.

"Guess I was wrong" remarked the rat-boy, as Vivi scowled at him.

They proceeded past several more roofs when the came upon some scaffolding on the side of the castle.

"We're here!" said the rat-boy in an excited voice.

He placed the ladder down to make a bridge between the roof and the scaffolding.

"By the way slave, my name is Puck" said the rat-boy.

"I'm Vivi" Vivi replied

"Alright slave! Move across the bridge while I hold it steady for you" commanded the rat-boy.

Vivi quickly moved across the ladder.

"Alright, now you hold it steady for me!" said the rat-boy.

He was halfway across when Vivi seized his opportunity. He shoved the ladder forward, causing it and Puck to fall into the street.

"BASTAAAAAAARRRRRD!" Puck yelled as he fell to certain doom.

"THAT WAS FOR RUNNING INTO ME BITCH!" Vivi yelled down.

Vivi turned around and proceeded into the Castle and nearby theatre. Meanwhile, the members of Tantalus prepared for the show.

And that's my first chapter! Hope you enjoyed it. Please Review, as long as you aren't going to remark about how I skipped the meeting on the theatre ship and moogle meeting with Vivi & Puck. Thanks!


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